As a recovering perfectionist, I have come to the conclusion that it is the acknowledgement of our flaws, not our obsession with perfection that makes us better, more understanding and more authentic. More human even…
Our lives seem to revolve around perfection, people pretending that they have no flaws, no issues, no problems and everyone is looking for the perfect diet, the perfect body, the perfect partner most of us as are always looking for the perfect situation, waiting for the perfect moment.
Aim for perfection
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We live in a society that focuses on and embraces achievement and it is no surprise that most people feel compelled to be “perfect”.
We are constantly bombarded with images in the media of huge houses and estates, plastic beauty and extravagance that leaves us with the feeling that we are falling short in some way and miss the fact that these people are living their “best lives” in the media and often we don’t see or hear about the flaws or choose to ignore them and defend an image of flawlessness.
Ignoring the flaws in our lives
I think this allows us to just pretend that everything in our lives is perfect, if we acknowledge that these flaws exist it then means that we have to look at and acknowledge these flaws in our own lives, we are then concerned about how we may be judged by others and society.
For me accepting our imperfections is necessary to live a more peaceful life, ignoring the problem or judging it in others can only mask underlying troubles, troubles that will only worsen as we continue fixating on what society deems as “suitable”.
Looking at our flaws gives us a chance for a more peaceful life, instead of pretending to be something we are not, you can only be better at something if you admit your flaws and mistakes you have made and try and improve on the areas that mean the most to you, for example you may want to be the perfect boss, or perfect employee but you can only get better if you acknowledge the areas that you struggle with and improve on them.
“Don’t keep up with the Joneses just be the Joneses”
One of my favourite sayings is “don’t keep up with the Joneses just be the Joneses”. That way the only person you have to keep up with and measure yourself against is you and not compare your inner life to the outer surface of someone else’s life.
I think there is a thin line with wanting something better for ourselves and obsessing about being perfect.
We are all different and it is our slight flaws that make us human and who we are rather than all perfect clones of each other.
When you are trying to be exactly like someone else, look like them or have exactly what they have, the voice in your head is constantly critical and things outside of you become top priority (your looks, the car your drive, the house you live in) and the measure of your happiness then this is an indication that you may of crossed the line.
Take a step back and appreciate the view
Remember to count your blessings and be grateful for what you do have rather than focusing on what you don’t have.
If you struggle with wanting to be perfect, as a recovering perfectionist I would love to hear from you, connect with me by clicking here and if you are ready and have a desire to change your life then connect with me and find out how I can help create a bespoke plan for you.
Connect with Expert Kerry Madgwick.