Happiness is like a mythical creature. Everyone’s on the hunt for it. All around us are temptations leading us to think the next new thing will bring us happiness and joy. Then we need more and more…
It’s like a carrot being dangled eternally in front of a rabbit…Except we are the rabbit. And maybe we are looking outside for something that actually exists inside.
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Have you ever noticed how children are completely honest? Like, brutally honest! Sometimes to the point of it becoming seemingly rude.
Ever notice how the things they say can be embarrassing not because they are trying to impress anyone, but because they are so utterly truthful and say it as they see it?
As we begin to develop and grow up, we are told to silence that part of us. We are told to be polite versus honest, to be a certain way to impress people, and to wear multiple masks to be accepted.
Groomed to be people pleasers
We are no longer allowed to be so truthful and honest and it’s considered ‘wrong’ if we are. We’re groomed to tell people what they want to hear and, in turn, we become surrounded with people who only tell us what we want to hear.
All that bears to be left at the end of the day is a tremendous amount of inauthenticity and illusion that become the foundation of our reality.
As we grow up and begin to be able to fend for ourselves, advertisements scream at us from every corner, radio, TV, magazine, channel, building, billboard and internet site that suggest to us that what we have isn’t enough.
We’re told that if we want to be more valued in the world and within society and finally be happy, then we must get more money to spend more money on stuff we don’t need. Emphasis is placed on status, on popularity, on being ‘in’, and in having more, more, more…
What would happen to you and to those around you if these crutches disappeared? What would be left without money, material items, status, position, good looks, associations, or title? Does that person fall when these things are pulled from underneath them?
The possibility is always real that any of the things we ‘possess’ can be taken away from us at any time.
We can get fired or laid off from our job. Lose our money. Friends and acquaintances come and go. Our beauty and youth fades eventually. We will one day retire and our title and position will be given to someone else. All of our belongings can and will perish one day and we cannot take them with us when we die.
The only things that truly ‘belong’ to us are the things we can’t buy
Things like honesty, integrity, respect, our behaviors, our efforts, love, and our legacy. Who we are when all the tangible crutches are taken away. Who we are if we lost everything in our lives. Lost everyone.
This is our Truth. This is your Truth.
Pretend ‘What if…” What if we chose to focus on letting our Truth define us? What if instead of ‘valuing’ people for what clothes they wear, what car they drive, how big their house is, how they look physically, or who they are friends with – we chose instead to value them based on how honest and loyal they are, how good you feel when you are around them, how beautiful they are on the inside, how much they give versus how much they get, how many people love them versus how many bank accounts they have?
What if we chose to value ourselves based on the same things?
Depression, anxiety, panic and stress disorders and disease are at an all-time high. Do you think this is coincidence?
Is it also a coincidence that the countries and civilizations that are considered the ‘happiest in the world’ are also areas that aren’t ‘Americanized’ with all the advertisements and glitz and glamour we have in the USA?
When we are so outward focused, we lose touch with who we are in lieu of trying so hard to be what society and who everyone wants us to be. We stop being ourselves.
We forget who we are at our core and get lost in all the false layers and masks we have mistaken for reality. We depend on outside factors that can be taken from us at any moment to define us when what we should be depending on are the things about us that can’t be taken away. Things that money can’t buy.
What if we’re doing it all wrong?
Suppose for a moment that the real purpose is to unbecome everything we’ve been told to be so we can be the person we truly are?
What will matter when we are gone? Will it be the designer shoes we wear? How about our expensive vintage couch? That you owned six vehicles?
The answer is NO.
What will matter is how much we loved. How much we stood up for what is right instead of what is easy (like trying to impress people). How much we positively impacted those around you.
Don’t hide your truth
Happiness can’t be bought. And it can’t be found by hiding your Truth. The secret hack to happiness is to have the courage to be who you truly are without the crutches of society.
Happiness isn’t a something you buy. It is something you choose. And you choose it by choosing you and the values you hold dear to your heart.
Being True takes zero effort. It’s when we ignore the truth that we are forced to be in a state of self-betrayal and ultimately a stressful and unhappy state of mind. That is a ton of effort and it’s no wonder we are so unhealthy as a society.
Don’t worry about wearing designer clothes. Instead, try dressing yourself up in an even more priceless outfit: Authenticity.
As always, the choice is yours.
Connect here with Expert Emma Pietrzak