Learn to love yourself even when you’re the only voice. Is being on your own the worst thing in the world?
The reason I’m asking that question is that over the Christmas period there have been a few times when the subject of being on one’s own has come up. Now I don’t mean having an evening (or two) when the husband and/or kids are out…
I mean total isolation. Living on your own, no family or friends around you.
Of course it can also mean being on your own in a relationship as well. Not being able to talk to your ‘nearest and dearest’. They love you but would they understand?
Thing is, living on you own can be the most wonderful freeing thing in the world – it can also be the most disastrous and disconnecting.
Take it from one who knows
It’s called the critical voice. And let’s face it, isn’t that what it is? And here’s the thing about being the only voice in the room – there’s no one to argue with you.
If you internalise that you’re a failure, or fat, or hopeless at something – there’s no one to tell you you’re talking a whole lot of hogwash.
And that’s when it gets dangerous. Dangerous to your emotional well-being and you know that thoughts become actions and actions (or non actions) turn into a sad or depressing state of affairs.
What can you do? How to get out of this?
Well just like the over-ride button on the room thermostat for the central heating if you start choosing good thoughts, the critical voice will diminish and finally give up and move on.
How do you do that? Well, they say it takes 21 days to develop a habit so you can practice good habits until they become automatic, like cleaning your teeth or showering every day. Those are habits that you don’t even think about. You just do them, right? Getting into the habit of talking to yourself in positive ways is the same.
You can start by simply saying when you wake up, “today is a beautiful day I choose to make it so“.
How easy is that? Putting out there that the day you’re about to experience is going to be a good one. It can make all the difference between having a good day and a bad one.
You will start to build up your internal defences so that although life won’t be perfect, you will have the resources to deal with whatever comes up rather than being a victim to circumstances.
Let’s carry on…
Having said “today is a wonderful day I choose to make it so”. Your choice, your day! You can choose to have a bad day but why would you?
You then get out of bed and into the bathroom. Instead of looking in the mirror and grimacing, smile and say hello gorgeous how are you this morning?
I know it sounds silly but seriously if you say that the reflection will think it’s funny and laugh or smile back. Good start to your day right there.
Then as you go about your day say over and over in your mind (or if you’re on your own you can say out loud) I love and approve of myself, I love and approve of myself. I’m OK. I’m more than OK!
Learning to love yourself in little ways will bring about the most miraculous changes in your life.
I’ve been there and done it. I only tell you stuff that I’ve experienced. It works!
When you live on your own, when the critical voice creeps up – because it does creep – the little bugger – you telling yourself you’re wonderful, lovely, smart, is the defence that hits it right back.
When the critical voice takes hold you feel too unhappy to say these things. That’s why saying today is a wonderful day I choose to make it so and good morning gorgeous and I love and approve of myself repeatedly acts as a deterrent.
It’s like preventative medicine – take it every day and things will change.
Living on your own can be a wonderful experience. You have time, lots of ‘Me Time’ but it doesn’t have to be a bad time. You can change your thoughts, your ideas, your perceptions.
By loving yourself you will have much more to give to others and you will be able to give with joy and love because you will feel lighter more joyful.
Give it a try. What have you got to lose? Only that voice and that’s no hardship.
If you need some help with this want a guiding hand to show you the way, I’m here. Like I say I’ve been there and done it and no man (or woman) is an island. We all need someone to be in our corner, someone who will have our back, who has no hidden agenda but to see you shine like you’re meant to.
I believe in you, let me show you how much.
Learning to love yourself is simple once you get on the right track.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I look forward to it!
Connect here with WatchFit Expert Adrienne Marks