Nowadays, it is easier than ever to get a date via free or paid dating sites; “Tinder” for example. 

There are countless dating apps or websites to choose from, all we have to do is download a phone app(s) and in minutes we can upload personal information and pictures showing how we look, how we like to spend time with others, what we enjoy and who we are friends with.

All while showing off our best personality traits.


This seems like a fun and safe way to meet other people and potentially find our soul mate.

However, I declare dating sites can alter our confidence levels and have adverse affects on how we internalize our self confidence!

Why are dating apps bad for self confidence?

I want you to imagine a list of sexy potential mates all in one place. All of them are waiting to meet their special someone in hope of finding what could be “true love”.

Online dating sites are simple to use but can easily deteriorate and eventually break down our once-strong self confidence.

For example, you send a couple of messages to people who you think have the potential to be a great partner, only not to hear back from them.

You only receive messages from people you would never go on a date with and continue to feel frustrated, more so than you did before you downloaded Tinder or any other dating app.

Or after talking with someone who wants to Skype or see additional photos of you, they no longer want to speak to you because of your appearance or the interactions you had in that brief encounter.

You start to doubt yourself

You begin to feel like a loser, you eventually begin to feel unwanted and you usually begin to feel unattractive or not good enough.

Maybe you don’t have what other men or women want career wise, they might see you as ‘too much fun’ or ‘not serious enough,’ you start to internalize rejection where you once considered yourself confident, valued and worthy of love.

are dating apps bad for self confidence_2Then what happens?

When others are not reciprocal of our time and attention we automatically begin to lack confidence to try again or reach out to a new person of interest.

The fear of being rejected again also decreases our self confidence and fuels the belief that we are not worthy of a partner.

We eventually give up and sometimes our confidence is destroyed. Many people are left with low self esteem and no ambition to allow love into their lives.

We clam up, put up walls, use defense mechanisms and feel unlovable.

There is a positive correlation between rejection and self esteem. When faced with rejection, our self esteem slumps.

But, on a positive note,if we are loved and accepted by others our self esteem grows. Both have a significant impact on our lives, negative and positive.

Be yourself!

I recommend to either find a mate the old fashioned way; through friends or friends of friends or to look for love at places you frequent so others can see who you truly are and what you look like.

Some people hide behind their confidences in order to be liked or wanted. This actually is a disservice to them and their potential partner.

Have the strongest self confidence possible, wear your confidence like a warrior and do not allow anyone to diminish it based on their inability to see, feel or experience your greatness!

Whoever you choose in the dating world, do what is best for you.

No one walks in your shoes or has to live with your decisions and what life throws your way.

When you are really 100% confident in yourself, you will attract a mate who shares this quality! Always be authentically you and you will attract the right mate. 

Connect with Expert Kelly Benamati

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