In Part 1 yesterday WatchFit Expert Helena Philippou started exploring what causes judgemental behaviour and how it impacts on us – from ourselves casting judgement and from those looking at us…
2 Why are people really so judgemental:
As I explained earlier, placing judgement on others and yourself is sadly a normal human action that everyone has been guilty of. What I didn’t mention is when, for example, you are out shopping for your wedding dress and see three that have caught your eye. You can’t decide which one you want. This leads to several visits to the wedding dress shops, but before you finally choose, you self-consciously kick the judgement gene into action to make your final decisions.RELATED: RECOMMENDED PLANS FOR YOU
Having this kind of judgement when shopping is a good quality in my opinion, as these individuals are aware of what they want and don’t want, and the best bit, they’re not placing that judgement on another person.
Those who place judgement on others and why they do this
These people are likely individuals who are not happy with either appearance or their life in general. The answer would be to seek solutions, but these individuals are not familiar with this term and simply avoid correcting and compensate for it by continuous judgmental/negative thoughts.
The majority of the time these individuals lack in social skills and are not comfortable with themselves, often adopting a hating streak in them a a negative view of human kind and life in general. The sad thing is they stay in the same mental state continuously being judgemental until they grow older and likely get worse.
But the good news is this can be defeated if addressed correctly!
Other factors that are associated with people who are overly judgemental is also associated with envy. For example: someone who has been in the same position as you but struggled to make a better life and is placing judgement over their achievements just because they could not correct their own circumstances.
Even more alarming is the likelihood they have developed other traits on top of their judgement such as: arrogant behaviour, a lack of empathy for other people, increasing ignorance…
Because over a period of time they have delusional judgemental thoughts/opinions on other’s this can lead to that individual believing that life owes them. Sounds to me that not only are these individuals extremely judgemental, but also now have adopted narcissistic traits too and it gets worse if not corrected.
3. What you can do to try and stop being so judgemental:
Making yourself aware why you make the judgement – being aware of your actions and thoughts, is a stepping-stone to balancing oneself and bringing harmony into one’s life.
If you are aware of your actions when placing a judgement, you also start to see a clearer view of what makes you this way.
Paying attention and observing you and your actions – By really taking a look and mirroring your life, this takes the focus off judging other peoples actions and making awareness of what you truly want in life. You could discover a side of you that you never knew existed, taking actions that you thought were not possible.
A great way to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings is by keeping a journal of your private thoughts. This enables you to mentally grow making it more controllable not to place judgement.
Understanding others – Instead of judging someone for what he/she done or how he/she looks, try instead to understand the person. Put yourself in their shoes. Try to imagine their background. If possible, talk to them. Find out their backstory. Everyone has one.
At least try to imagine the circumstances that might have led to the person acting or looking like they do, this could lead to discoveries on certain actions you have taken in the past. Maybe you can be of assistance to them or they to you.
Accepting people & situations – Accept that person for who he/she is, without trying to change them. Accept that he/she will act the way they choose to without wanting him/her to change. The world is what it is, and as much as you try, you can only change a little bit of it. It will continue to be as it is long after you’re gone, so make it easy on yourself and accept that otherwise, you’re in for a world of frustration!
Love thyself and love people – Love is a powerful tool and in order to give love, you have to start loving yourself. When you start loving yourself, you appreciate your surrounding more and the beauty nature has to offer. This goes on to to opening other doors by sharing the love with someone else.
Your love will likely be limited, but it could have an affect on two people: yourself and the person you’ve found love for. Loving others will serve to make you happier. Trust me on this one!
And loving others can change their lives if you choose to express that love and take action on it. I can’t guarantee what will happen, but it can be life changing and contribute to a better version of ‘You’!
Connect here with WatchFit Expert Helena Philippou