Well this seems an odd topic for the ‘Me Time Authority’ doesn’t it? Yes and no… There is a actually a huge difference between the two states.

Too much time alone, like anything else, can be dangerous. And I don’t mean that lightly.

The trouble with spending too much time alone is that it can can isolate you so that you get into a bit of a ‘pity party’.

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The mind can be a dangerous tool and if you’re spending a lot of time on your own, your housemate, flat mate, roommate, constant companion can be your critical voice.

What is a critical voice?

Well the critical voice is a voice is what tells you everything is your fault, you’re wrong, you’re too tall, too fat, too old, too young, not smart enough, not good enough – just not enough.

You see when you spend too much time alone it’s all too easy to go into a negative state. Thinking too much because you have no-one close to share your stuff with.

Maybe by nature you’re shy or the people you work with aren’t on the same wavelength, or you’re retired and don’t see anyone unless you go out to the shops. Maybe you live in your own little bubble because you were sick and had to spend time at home and now it has become a habit.

It’s not easy to get out of that habit because it could have felt comfortable at the beginning. It was cold and who wants to go out for the evening when it’s raining? So you stayed at home and enjoyed your own company – nothing wrong with that all.

But when you don’t socialise with people, when you spend too much time alone it really will affect you.

We all need to be with others

Not necessarily all the time but to have human contact, human inter-action is what makes the world go round. Talking to a neighbour, a friend, a child, you need to be social/sociable.

Because when you’re insular everything in your life suffers. Your health will suffer, physically and emotionally and the more isolated you become the worse things get. And then it’s downhill and it is even more difficult to move out of that space, that mindset.

It might start out as an occasional thing and then the old critical voice starts telling you oh you don’t want to spend time with so and so because they’re boring or something else. And then you get an invite to lunch and decide you’ve nothing to wear and besides it’s a long way and you don’t know most of the people. And pretty soon when you stop accepting invitations people stop inviting you places.

And then you’re on your own – well almost,  because there’s always the critical voice which will end up telling you you’re better off on your own, who needs those people anyway?

You do. You need people!

Life is made up of moments. There’s nothing like sharing good conversation with people. Sitting at a table with friends and laughing. Sharing memories or jokes, or just setting the world to rights.

social isolation_2

Sharing an afternoon walk by the river or going to the park. Watching the world go by. Sitting at a café in the open air drinking a glass of wine and chatting to the person who shares your table.

That’s what makes the world go round. Reaching out to others.

And when you make the effort, when you make that move you’ll be surprised at how you’re life will change. How about inviting a friend for coffee, a neighbour in for a glass of wine? Or someone to the cinema or theatre or just for a walk, a chat?

You’ll be surprised at how good it will make you feel.

Calling someone (not texting) actually speaking with someone you’ve not spoken to for ages, you don’t know what other people are going through and your call could be a lifeline, it could make them feel great. And it will make you feel great too.

Solitary confinement is a punishment, so why would you punish yourself?

You deserve better than that. You will find that once you start taking these little steps your health will improve, your life will seem so much better.

The critical voice is not you. It is not the truth. You are the power in your world. You are in control not your mind. When the critical voice speaks in your ear and you listen you end up in that solitary state because it’s telling you you’re not good enough. The critical voice always leads you to inaction.

When you take back that control, when you make the effort and go out and see people and talk to people and connect with people and laugh and cry and talk, then life takes on a different direction. You’ll be amazed at what a change you can make.

I know it can be hard if you’ve been stuck in that space for a long time. I know how your mental health has taken a huge knock and I know it’s not easy to take the first step. That’s why I’m offering a Mastery Discovery session totally free of charge. Connect with me as a start at http://www.adriennemarksmetime.com/contact-us.html

And let’s work this thing out together. I’ll be there for you

I promise it’ll be a lot more fun than spending time alone and being isolated!

Connect here with WatchFit Expert Adrienne Marks

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