Celebrate LOVE instead!

I am here to challenge the way you feel about Valentine’s day…

Whether this means you love it, hate it, feel excited about it, anticipate it, or simply ignore it.


I bet you can guess that the largest amount of queries typed into good old friend Google right about now are

‘Valentine’s day ideas’ and ‘Valentine’s day gifts’

Why is that? Because some day, someone told you and me that Valentine’s day is the day when people, who are in love buy each other gifts, as a way to show their love, and to celebrate their relationship. It would be so cliché for me to start blah-blah-ing how commercialized this holiday (and many others) have become nowadays, so I am not going to do that. Instead, I will make a bold statement that holidays are here for a reason. Holidays are here to remind us of symbols and values; to bring us back to certain depths within our hearts and souls that we may have been ignoring in our hectic lifestyle.

So, let’s get back to the very basic concept of Love, since this is what Valentine’s day is supposed to be about. Answering some questions will help us do that:

Is love about a certain person, or is it about the experiences you share with them?

Is love about ONE single person only, or is it about the way your love for that person inspires you to treat everyone and everything else around you?

Are we meant to love each other just for the sake of loving, or for the sake of using this love as a force that creates and unites?

Is love something you speak, or something that goes beyond words and feelings?

Have you ever been thinking about a particular idea or feeling, and when you say it out loud – it loses all its meaning or power?

OK, the last question wasn’t about love, but you get the point. There’s a great quote I’ve been coming across on Pinterest lately, and it says ‘The louder you speak, the less I can hear’. So, I guess this perfectly answers the question

Why NOT buy a gift this Valentine’s day and 3 ways to celebrate LOVE instead

Why you should NOT buy a gift this Valentine’s day

Gifts are loud

Gifts say ‘I love you, so please love me back.’

Gifts have little to do with your love for each other – they are all about adhering to social behavior and are often a cause of anxiety, because if you do love the person, you do want to show appreciation. However, a material gift will always lack that completeness of the whole concept of love. What you should do?

Remember – LOVE creates beauty all the time, not only on Valentine’s day

What does this mean?

Use Valentine’s day to celebrate the fruits of your love for each other. Still not getting it? Think about the beauty your love has brought to the world. Remember,

‘No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.’ Aesop

Every single one of your kind gestures towards each other is an act of kindness. Each moment of forgiveness is an act of kindness. Every moment of inspiration you got from each other is an act of kindness.

Gather these moments and use Valentine’s day to appreciate them.

3 non gift Valentine’s day ideas to help you celebrate LOVE instead

1. Use Animoto to create a short movie of your most precious moments.  You can gather pics, video clips, add music and effects. Do it together, make it fun, and most importantly – do it for the sake of sharing with each other, not for the sake of sharing the video on Facebook later on!

Why NOT buy a gift this Valentine’s day and 3 ways to celebrate LOVE instead

2. Use Valentine’s day to do something for one another that each of you knew the other has been secretly hoping for. For example, if your girlfriend/wife has been asking and/or secretly hoping for you to try out that dance class with her – do it now. If your guy has been hoping you would finally make friends with that weird single pal of his, make an effort to show kindness and understanding, and suggest a quick Valentine’s lunch together (you can still have the evening for the dance class). Love is all about total acceptance! Make it so on Valentine’s day!

3. And finally, use Valentine’s day as the ‘launch’ date for a new challenge you set for each other! (guys love challenges, so this should please them, too). For example, challenge yourself to not say unkind words to each other, not raise your tone, or not to do the things that your loved one feels strongly about (i.e. leave the bathroom messy), and make a game out of it. Have fun while setting the rules for the challenge! For example – decide and write down how many negative points for an unkind word, etc. and then decide what would be the ‘buy back’ for negative points. Basically, use Valentine’s day/evening to create your own ‘love’ game, have loads of fun doing it, and do something that will further strengthen your relationship in the long run!

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Pollyanna Hale Health and Lifestyle coaches
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