We all know how much love can build us up or tear us apart…

Love is a choice we make and it should be built with no conditions attached.

One of the greatest gifts we need to give to ourselves is learning how to love every aspect of our being. We cannot give to others what we don’t have. Love really is a must if we want our relationships to be healthy and to thrive.


When we take time to learn ways to love ourselves, some think of it as being selfish but it most certainly is not.

The relationships that tend to be long lasting are those built with two people who love themselves, know themselves and take care of themselves. We must be able to recognize the areas of our life that we need work on and fine tune them before we seek anything else on a personal level.

learning to love yourself_2Learning to say no and put yourself first

Find what your likes and dislikes are and take action accordingly. Learn to enjoy new adventures, sports, movies, write or take up a new hobby.

Often we wear many hats and forget to create time for exercise, take a bubble bath, get a massage, join a networking group or a single’s club at church. Find the activities you enjoy and go out once a week and have fun alone or with a friend doing them. You might find along the way you really enjoy some things you thought you never would.

Enjoy some alone time

I also have found that I enjoy my alone time to meditate, pray, read books, have meaningful conversations, get involved with projects to make a difference in my community and use my voice to stand up for what I believe in.

All of these examples are ways you can enjoy loving yourself and rewarding the person you are, the one you want to become and set attainable personal goals along the way.

Choosing to make healthier decisions

Part of the process of loving ourselves, means we must be dedicated to getting better and making healthier decisions.

– We MUST learn to forgive ourselves, others and never live in the past.

– We have to keep moving forward and look ahead, not behind.

– Learn to eliminate and deal with past emotions, break ups, divorces, deaths, and failed business endeavors.

When we don’t learn how to grieve, or feel our feelings we carry those emotions, problems and baggage with us wherever we go. People feel the effects of our unhealthiness and begin to distance themselves from our lives. Just when we are trying to get closer they are slowly moving away, because hurt people, hurt people.

There have to be healthy outlets for you to self-express

Let go of unwanted people, places and things, that no longer serve you. My suggestion is to journal your daily schedules, feelings and emotions so you know what is working and what isn’t.

I would also encourage you to ask others for constructive criticisms so you can learn where you need to grow.

Learn to ask for help, when you need it

A lot of people don’t like asking for help, are afraid to ask, and have been conditioned they can do it all on their own and honestly, it is extremely difficult being everything to everyone. When we take on the world, we get burnt out quickly.

learning to love yourself_3Lastly, don’t allow anyone to tell you what is right for you

Only you know how you are feeling and what needs to be changed in yourself for optimal health. You deserve to love you, so others can love you the way you desire to be loved!

Always be Authentically Yourself, and the right people will be in your life for the right reasons, when you are ready for it and them to show up.

Be patient and know you deserve the best love life can bring to you, when you are ready, willing and able to accept it.

Connect with Expert Kelly Benamati

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