Have you ever noticed that when everything you touch is hot, you don’t want to touch anything?

That can happen with physical touch and also with emotional connection.

When your circuits are overloaded with “important/critical” issues, you can become paralyzed and ineffective. That is the perfect time to care more about caring less.

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Here are 3 tips to getting started on this important skill

What a great way to begin 2016 by learning something new that will make you even more effective in dealing with whatever comes your way.

Whether you are caring about a project, job or person in a way that creates stress and limits options, these skills can work for you.

Tip 1 – Put yourself in the picture and see yourself more and more at ease moving with a light step

When someone is very important, they can become the center of attention and you can be left out of the picture. In fact, the picture might be dark and heavy without much movement. The sensation of being stuck can look like you are standing still or moving very slowly around that other person.

Put yourself back in that picture

Remember that a picture is a static image whereas life is more like a film.

As the scene unfolds, see yourself moving through the scene able to determine what can be done that is of benefit to you and your loved one, and moving lightly forward toward what is possible.

Let your body breath and see yourself responding to what is happening in the moment only

Thinking about what is not happening but what might happen is a dead end as a lifestyle. Folks who do risk management are blessed with the ability to imagine all kinds of possibilities upon command and this can be useful as part of a plan. Using this ability without boundaries can lead to disappointment and pain.

Of course, this phenomenon can also be applied to tasks and jobs. What happens when you feel like the center of what needs to be done and take full responsibility for getting it done?

Brighten up that picture and see yourself in a film that has a happy ending.

Remember context counts and get that film scene back into the full length film feature.

how to care less_2Tip 2 – Hear what is useful and beneficial

Just hearing critical words from a loved one can set off a response that is created by emotions. When that happens, a process called flooding occurs. According to Dr. John Gottman, this body response is so overwhelming that people do anything to avoid this feeling of blood pressure rising and pulse racing.

And that is not just women, in fact “It’s a biological fact; men are more easily overwhelmed by marital conflict than are their wives.”

How to care less about this?

Consider hearing words in a more neutral way. When someone is using critical words, use your imagination to hear them inside your head as thought a cartoon character was saying them to you. I like Goofy but Mickey Mouse or any other others are are good.

With just that idea, you can notice that the words lose their sting and the moment passes without a critical response.

The ability to soothe yourself and others is a wonderful skill that can lead to a healthy relationship where each person is considered equally. And of course this works on the job.

Tip 3 – Go for pleasant and know the difference between short and long term goals

What is really important and urgent? What is not? Having a sense of what is beneficial and possible is good. And knowing what can be done now that fits into a longer term goal provides that sense of movement and lightness.

This conscious knowing allows for better choices where emotional and logical parts of the brain are working to best advantage.

Care more about caring less!

The idea of caring less can seem like a superficial response to the issues of life. I’m not suggesting for a moment that going through life like a leaf blowing in the wind is needed or desirable.

What I am suggesting is that by being more in touch with what is really happening in the moment gives us an emotional flexibility that fits into a purposeful life much better.

Being clear on what is happening is a skill

In fact there are an infinite number of things not happening where you are right now! Be free of those things and you will be caring more about caring less.

Connect with Expert Dorothy Rodwell

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