Happy New Year! I’m looking forward to this new chapter that is upon us, and looking forwards not backwards for our growth potentials.
There are radical opinions on the topic of FWBs (friends with benefits) and I hope to enlighten you with a positive spin on why I support this type of relationship.
No strings attached
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Have you ever wondered what it was like to be with your best friend or someone really close to you but were too afraid to ask and make the first move? How about wondering what it would be like with a perfect stranger but society teaches us we need to be in a committed relationship or we will be labeled as easy.
Why is having sexual relations with someone without a commitment so bad? Or is it..?
What harm could there be to desire sexual pleasure without the dedication or labels attached?
In my opinion, there are healthy benefits to our minds and bodies if you choose to have a protected, fun sexual relationship with a friend.
When two people desire each other but don’t want a committed relationship with each other, there is no harm in setting healthy boundaries and enjoying being sexually pleased by someone you feel safe with.
Pressure from society
In today’s world, it is expensive to date and a lot of couples feel pressure to be everything to one person.
Also, with the divorce rate peaking right around 50% that also adds a lot of baggage from past marriages, children, added expenses for a new mate and sometimes drama from past spouses.
Many people are electing to keep it simple by remaining friends but enjoying the sexual turn-ons from the opposite sex.
As long as the boundaries are clear from the beginning, protection is being used, both people will get tested on a regular basis, and both people are open and willing to just go with the flow, there isn’t anything wrong with FWBs.
When people begin to label a relationship it often changes the dynamics of how feelings get interpreted and pressures begin to mount.
If the friendship starts out fun, engaging and pleasing then it could potentially lead to a more committed role if and when both people decide they have the time, monetary resources to do it and both people are ready, willing and able.
Benefits of FWBs
Having regular sexual intercourse, relieves stress, increases our endorphin levels in return positively increasing our moods, we burn calories, we feel more confident, have higher self esteem, we can be creative creatures in the bedroom and a lot of people get a euphoric high from trying new positions and escapades without strings attached.
When two adults can just be themselves and feel comfortable with each other then magic begins to occur.
This is one of the number one reasons couples don’t become pregnant, is due to stress of creating a baby at the right time, time of the month, right foods, right positions, temperature, etc and the health of the sperm and egg are not optimally potent or yoked.
Again, another stressor for couples who are in committed relationships and choose to seek a simplified solution – FWBs.
Some concerns of those who have opposing views…
Of course there is always the majority that don’t agree because of their religious views or conditioning from upbringing and society in general. In today’s society it is easier than ever to get on a free dating site and some people view that as dangerous.
Also, what if one person begins to have more emotionally attached feelings for the other and the feelings are not mutual?
What if I am judged because I choose this type of friendship?
If you use the dating site as an application process and interview them like you would a potential job applicant and meet in safe places until you feel comfortable getting together in a more romantic environment, then I don’t see any harm in using a free dating site.
I can completely understand religious views holding others back and that is totally personal and their choice to do so or not.
Getting attached is a risk you take but if you are always honest then time will tell if this type of relationship will be good for you.
You don’t have to tell anyone of your fun times in between the sheets if you don’t want to. It really isn’t anyone else’s business what you constitute as taking care of yourself sexually, emotionally, physically and enjoying someone else’s company in the process.
You also allow the other person to get to know your likes and dislikes and no pressure to stay with them if sex isn’t good with that particular person.
Choose what suits you best
Overall, I see many benefits to selecting this type of lifestyle until you are in a good place to move to the next level of dating or being seriously committed. There are some really great benefits of having friends with sexual pleasure attached. No matter what type of relationships you choose, make sure it’s the right ones for you!
Nobody else can tell you how to feel or what to do. It is ultimately your choice and there is freedom and power in making healthy choices for yourself. Have fun and just be you!
Connect with Expert Kelly Benamati.