You might be thinking what do these things have to do with me? Actually, love, sex and being in love have everything to do with you.
The way you show up for others in relationships, what you tolerate and accept is exactly what you will get with each person. If you want to have real attachments and be absolutely in love with your mate then don’t have sex until you get married. If you want just sex then plan not to get attached and just have some fun.
If you want to love someone then have fun, have sex and love a little with your emotions attached. When you are ready, willing and able – God will give you your life long mate but until then all else is sex and love. The gifts god gives you are choices of what you want to show up in your life, but you don’t get to choose the consequences.RELATED: RECOMMENDED PLANS FOR YOU
Lets look at people who only want sex with partners or having ‘friends with benefits’ for a fun time.
These kinds of relationships are based on fulfilling sexual pleasures. I am not saying there isn’t any chemistry because for your sake I sure hope there is. Sex fulfills our fantasies, sexual risks (sometimes) and our yearning to be felt and wanted by another human being.
When we are sexually attracted to others a temporary fix is often facilitated with the act of having sex. What people don’t remember is that sex is just that, and it gives us something to do with another person we like and have chemistry with but it leaves us feeling empty emotionally, but fulfilled physically.
How much fun can that be?
When you lay down alone at night, doesn’t that make you feel unfulfilled in so many areas of your life. I would much rather be alone than have a casual fling every once in awhile. You don’t ever really get to connect on an emotional level and there isn’t any real commitment to stay with partners for the long term.
I understand the logical reasoning behind selecting this type of relationship as most are afraid of getting hurt, only desiring sex, they don’t want to be completely dedicated to just one person, they are too busy to devote any quality time with you, they travel, they are married to their business, they are in an open relationship so you will never be more than just a side piece and the list is endless of why people decide to just have sex.
Is this the type of life you want?
Let’s try on love for just a minute… You can have very strong feelings for someone, get along, building a strong friendship that leads to loving feelings, doing things together actually increases our love for another human, showing affection and getting to know someone actually allows us to feel close to that person and we interpret that as love.
This is also a temporary fix to feeling wanted and needed. This is a temporary act of having someone in our life for a short period of time that fulfils some part of ourselves where we are lacking.
One of the best quotes I have ever read was this and it describes love as apposed to being in love – “Never make someone a priority if they think of you as an option” – Munni Shamim.
This bold statement is so absolutely inspiring to me because it lets me know I am just someone’s choice not their No.1 forever that I can fall head over heels in love with. I believe in choosing someone to stay with until the end of time, not being a possibility until something (in their mind not yours or mine) better comes along and starts showing them attention and giving of their time.
How does this scenario feel to you that you are not their first choice but just an option?
To me I would much rather invest my valuable time in myself and developing and fine tuning my character so the man for me to fall deeply in love with – I will be ready and at the top of my game waiting for. Remember, it’s always your choice to stay or go and I recommend choosing wisely.
This is how falling in love feels and exactly what I dream about, pray for, hope, wish, desire and manifest mindfully quite often. My perfect mate and dynamic duo will build a solid Christian foundation without seeking anyone else because they know I am “the one and only”.
Selfless acts of kindness, going out of your way to truly get to know a person’s soul and what lights them up. Not jumping into bed until after marriage. Talking about and planning your future and what that will look like in order for the relationship to be successful and built on trust.
It means showing affection, sacrificing even when you don’t want to, calling and texting each other just to make sure they are OK and having a good day.
Falling in love means being able to and wanting to put your mate first and learn new things about them every day. Meeting family members and friends and building a lasting bond and friendship that lasts until eternity.
It means saying yes when you want to say no, it means driving out of your way just to see that person, it means giving up time to help them, it means communicating with them on a regular basis and being romantic without the romance. It means being able to read your bible together and pray out loud.
It means valuing each other and showing respect. It means dressing and acting in a way that your mate desires. It means showing up when you say you will and actually caring about the other person for no other reason than for the sake of falling in love. It means wanting to be healthy so you can live for that person and take care of each other in every way.
It means financially setting aside money to do things together and finding ways to give back and making a significant difference in each other’s lives.
Now that is what I call falling in love and being totally committed to one another – no matter what!
As you can see there are some drastic differences when it comes to love, sex and being in love with someone. As described to you – all of them will show up during your growth periods and you can choose what you let in and who gets filtered.
I believe in you and want the best for your life – so make wise sound decisions that will positively affect you.
Connect here with Watchfit Expert Kelly Benamati