Dating can be incredibly stressful; from endless swiping to picking the perfect outfit, remaining positive and portraying the best possible version of yourself. There’s a lot to remember and, as a result, we can spend hours worrying about it.

However, dating needn’t be the stressful process we all dread! It is possible to make finding love the fun, passionate journey that it’s destined to be. With a little help along the way, you’ll quickly find that stress-free dating is easier to achieve than we often think!

Charlie Spokes, the founder of unique dating website ‘My Friend Charlie’, offers insight into ‘five ways you can make dating stress free’. Finally, you can say goodbye to the days of pre-date sweats and nervous chatter… there’s a dating master in you somewhere, you simply need to let it out!

5 tips to stress free dating:

1. Trust your friends’ advice

We can all be guilty of frantically worrying that we’ve “got absolutely nothing to wear!” (despite having an overflowing wardrobe). If you find that the prospect of choosing an outfit is a little stressful, then trust in your friends’ advice. Try on any outfit options and send pictures, your friends are best placed to offer honest, helpful tips, pointing you in the right direction!

2. Keep your goal in mind

We go on dates in the hope of finding our perfect match, as this search for romance (fingers crossed) leads to a happy ending! If you want to achieve stress free dating, it’s important to keep this goal in mind…

If you’re looking for your soul mate, you shouldn’t settle. Try not to stress about the prospect of a bad date, this simply means that you’re one step closer to meeting ‘The One’ and every date, good or bad, will make you more comfortable with the concept of dating as a whole. Look at this as an experience, it might not have been perfect, but this will make you cherish and value your partner even more when you do find them.

3. Remember, there’s always a silver lining!

It’s easy to worry about how you’ll cope on a date that’s not exactly going to plan. What if the conversation is stiff or you don’t share any common interests? The key to nailing stress free dating is staying positive and remembering that there’s always a silver lining!

Worst case scenario, there will still be something you can take from this experience. Whether it’s the great food, fun venue or simply the satisfaction of curling up in bed with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s when you get home.

One bad date will never be a life-shattering disaster, so why worry so much?


4. Say goodbye to dating apps!

Dating apps have quickly become a millennial phenomenon, yet these aren’t perfect and they often fail to keep our dating experience stress-free. As you relentlessly swipe through profiles, the excitement that should accompany dating can sometimes become lost as the process begins to feel clinical and rather mundane.

Meanwhile, users appear to base their judgments largely on a potential match’s appearance, a fundamental error in the very premise of swiping-apps. This in itself can make dating seem stressful, as we worry our profile isn’t up to scratch and obsessively compare our number of matches with friends.

For a less stressful experience, consider fun, exciting alternatives to online dating. For example, ‘My Friend Charlie’ organises blind group dates for singletons in London. Essentially, you sign up for an event as opposed to the person/people you’ll be meeting; from axe-throwing workshops to chocolate making and comedy tours, these are always unique.

As you head along to an activity you’re already interested in, without a clue as to who you’ll be meeting, you can rest assured that no attendees will have preconceived ideas about their fellow daters, making this experience more organic and less shallow.

Dating as a group will undoubtedly make the process less stressful – knowing that you’re all very much in the same boat will make you feel less alone, as your fellow daters can act as a form of support. Plus, even if you don’t meet ‘The One’, you could meet new friends!

5. If the feeling’s not mutual, it’s not the end of the world!

What is most stressful about dating? This ominous question typically receives one answer: “They might not like me back”. This worry can diminish any excitement that accompanies preparation for a date, as we question and scrutinise our appearance, values, charisma and more…

For a stress free dating experience, remember to put yourself first and believe in your own self-worth!

No number of bad or good dates should affect your self-esteem! If you have faith in how great you are, recognising all that you have to offer, you’ll quickly become a lot less worried about the idea of a bad date.

by Charlie Spokes

For more information about ‘My Friend Charlie’, visit

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