Have you ever wondered why some people are more approachable than others?

We are taught how to be approachable beginning in our early childhoods. It is called ‘Classical Conditioning’, a term we use in Psychology that Pavlov coined when innate responses to powerful stimulus are elicited to previously neutral stimuli.

Parents and peers (subconsciously and consciously) repeatedly condition our neutral stimuli to powerful stimuli. These are what us experts call learned behaviors.


Classical Conditioning in everyday life

What happens as time goes on is what we call life and through classical conditioning we are “taught” how to respond, how approachable others view us as and how to be approached in life is based on our circumstances and the emotions attached to them.

Through hardships, break ups, deaths, disappointments, unresolved issues and emotional baggage, rejections, hard life situations, divorces and just about anything that can negatively impact us, automatically begins to alter our personalities and how we are approached by others.

All of these aforementioned behavioral conditions are what make us approachable or not.

What can we do to make ourselves more approachable and break through barriers to recondition ourselves so others will want to approach us with more ease?

Forgive people

We need to forgive people and situations that have hurt us and caused us harm. It is best if we learn how to move on in life and don’t carry grudges and internalize past failure and rejections.

I also recommend clearing away anything that holds you back from moving forward and to stop rehashing the past events of life.

It is imperative that we deal with our emotional baggage so we don’t bring bad attitudes to our futures, making us less approachable. We have to heal ourselves and be surrounded by good people that are also more easily approachable.

Who we hang around we will eventually become like and they can and will teach us the skills and personality traits that we desire, if we truly want to change.

how to be approachable_2I know all of these suggestions are easier said than done, but the rewards will be worth the effort you put in.

If you continue to work hard at bettering yourself and removing toxic people that are not healthy for you, then you can become happier and that will equal an easier disposition because you will have healed yourself.

Keep a journal

It is also very helpful to purchase a journal and start writing down how you feel everyday.

When we consciously see on paper our true feelings and situations associated with those specific feelings, we can begin to eliminate what doesn’t feel good.

When we feel good people can feel our energy and that makes us easier to approach and also people will genuinely want to approach us.

You can also ask an expert like myself to mentor you with some more in depth steps of taking action to modify behaviors and emotionsParticiarly those that need more social/emotional work than what your friends might be able to provide.

So, get around positive people!

Experiences can make or break us, so I highly encourage you to get around people who are positive and making significant differences in the lives of others.

You will be liked more, in return allowing others to feel more comfortable approaching you.

I believe in you and your progress and always being authentically yourself. Step into your power and take massive action for powerful results!

Connect with Expert Kelly Benamati

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