We have gotten so far away from traditional love and what the meaning of true love is that most people don’t even know what they are looking for.

The definition of true love

True love isn’t jealous, it is self sacrificing, it is healthy, it is not boastful, it never angers, it is giving when you don’t feel like giving, it takes time and the willingness and capability to make it through hardships, when you are ready, willing and able as well as love yourself then you will attract the mate that also has those positive qualities.

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Most people search for love in all the wrong places, thinking if they search and search they will for sure find what they are looking for.

I absolutely love the stories of couples that found true love when they weren’t looking at all.

Detached from emotions

Today’s society has conditioned us to interact with others on such an impersonable level.

We text and email instead of call and we introduce ourselves through cell phone apps and Skype instead of meeting in person or being introduced by family and friends.

We have grown to be such a shallow society and accepting the unacceptable as well as not being good mates when we search for love.

What are we looking for?

How can we attract the mate that is right for us if we don’t know who we are looking for or what qualities we want in a soul mate.

How can we expect to date someone that dresses well and takes care of themselves if we are sloppy in our appearance and have an “I don’t care attitude”. It is also difficult to be kind and show love when all some people have known is heart break, disappointments, rejection, abuse and break up after break up.hard to find love_2When we don’t rid ourselves of the emotional baggage we carry from relationship to relationship we end up spoiling it for a good mate or pushing away someone who might be really good for us.

We have to learn how to deal with our past emotions, grieve our losses, exercise self – care to heal and learn not to stuff our feelings so that when situations arise we can handle them with healthy responses.

Remove your blocks!

Many people’s defense mechanisms are to put up walls and lack trust and that really closes others off from approaching us in asking for a date or to begin a new friendship possibly leading to a long – term relationship.

I know heartache sometimes changes our personalities making us less loveable. We stay stuck in playing the victim roles and lack responsibility for our wrongdoings and most people are not attracted to that type of person.

Listen to yourself

We also must learn to talk to ourselves and our mates with a kind tone, nice words, give compliments freely, respond out of respect and communicate effectively.

We must also learn to listen to our intuitions and if someone feels off to us, I recommend asking a friend for a second opinion or severing the relationship because our gut instincts are usually correct.

Even though it can be difficult in finding true love there is always hope that we will when we are ready to. Sometimes all it takes is us risking putting ourselves back on the market and choosing to be willing to love again.

It helps to have faith that what we are seeking is also seeking us! Remember – be happy and expect the best and that is what you will receive.

Connect with Expert Kelly Benamati 

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