Cellulite worries… We’ve all been there!

We’ve all experienced the dentist’s waiting room. It is one of the more sombre atmospheres we generally encounter. Nobody there wants to be, and there’s invariably a loud ticking wall clock which only seems to add to the impending air of dental doom.

Then there’s the array of magazines – often more out of date than my iPod content. Last time amidst the lifestyle mags, quarrying publications and classic car journals, I dug out some regional papers… Among all the local issues I discovered yet another in the infinite stream of items on cellulite. It was accompanied by ‘The Essential Top Ten Tips to Banish It’. I felt it was my professional duty to see what they had to say.


But lets face it, I am also female and, regardless of our experiences and what we know, we can’t help but be drawn to anything with the words ‘Cellulite’ and ‘Banish’! I bet you’d like me to cut to the chase and reveal the secrets…but I’ll keep you in suspense a little while.

Don’t worry, we will look to annihilate cellulite and I’ll save you some money too!

Do we understand cellulite?

After a weeks holiday in a Cornish fishing village, I got myself some hard earned cellulite. Thanks to rather poor weather the tea shop visits turned from a treat, to a routine outing. At first the early morning hill sprints were keeping everything in check, but soon enough it felt like I was carrying an extra load around the backside.

What is interesting about cellulite is its position, not just on the female anatomy but in the whole fitness and beauty industry. If it didn’t exist neither would whole chunks of the industry. It is and has always been in the top three of ‘Don’t Wants’, yet so many ladies struggle with it. So many (and I’m not excluded) will have spent money trying to banish it: creams, massages and even rubbery fingered, twirling machines that claim to ‘break cellulite down’.

All this money spent, all those hopes dashed only to find out the inevitable…that they don’t work in any real and lasting sense.

joey bull_2 So I was fascinated to see another hopeful writer sharing her cellulite news with the rest of us. Only of course it isn’t news and whilst drinking lots of water and doing regular exercise is a perfectly good suggestion on so many levels, it won’t do what we want it to do and banish the demon cellulite. Having had a life of training and training others, I’ve seen lots of bare bottoms in my time. I’ve seen bad states of cellulite and no cases of cellulite, on the same bottom…within weeks.

What is it?

Most of us have read that cellulite is a different kind of fat, with lots of explanation to support this assertion. Plenty of science but the point remains – it comes and it goes, more on some than others and we do have a say in these comings and goings. For a while I believed that it was hormone related and the more testosterone the body had, the less prone it would be to this bumpy tissue. A natural conclusion when around us are men without it and high end female athletes likewise where that girly dimpled leg look is super scarce. Whilst this remains somewhat true, it isn’t the whole secret to a smooth leg and backside.

How do we deal with cellulite?

On every bottom that bears cellulite, mine included, there is something askew with the diet. The individual may well be eating ‘healthily, they probably don’t have a penchant for cream teas and they probably ‘eat better than their mate who has no cellulite’. However unfair it is, there is a way out and it requires sensible, cheap, commonsense self care.

If a body is holding extra water, a mere squeeze of the inner thigh flesh will show and tell you all you need to know. Of course there are methods to rid the body of water in the form of wraps and diuretics, natural and chemical, but they are fleeting and the body holds water for a reason – and it is a healthy one; to buffer chemical imbalance.

Why on earth you would want to override an intelligent body reaction and force it to purge water, when all it is doing is warning you of its chemical upset?

Find out how we annihilate cellulite in Part 2!

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