During my career I have been carefully observing many people transforming their bodies and subsequently improving their personal life.

Whether was getting a promotion, starting their own business, getting married or gaining more confidence towards the opposite sex, fitness truly helped them to change their lives.

Many of them had incredible results under my guidance but few others weren’t improving as fast or were going through a rollercoaster of ups and downs.


As a personal trainer

That got me incredibly frustrated and led me to ponder the reason behind it. I gave them the best workout and a great diet plan, monitored progress and kept them accountable via texts and emails but it was simply not enough.

I was missing something, I didn’t find the real reason behind them hiring me as a coach.

But before I explain it let me tell you a story.

Mary’s story

Mary had a tough job in a very influential consulting firm. She was hardworking, dedicated and ambitious. But career was simply not enough for her, she wanted to feel sexy and look great both in her formal outfit and in her favourite night dress.

When we started working together she was overweight and almost ashamed of her body.

The first milestone

I gave her my best advice on nutrition and started a training program.

She quickly lost a stone, was felt good and more energetic. I was very happy about her progress and I tried to push harder on her but all of a sudden I couldn’t see the same progress I was expecting.

She started missing sessions snacking at work and drinking more than usual. I took pictures, measurements, told her to block time for training and showed her studies on how to control the cravings…but all those tricks simply didn’t work.

The real motivation

Only than I decided to sit with her and had a chat about what was going on.

She divorced few years ago and since then she didn’t want to date any man and focused all her life on work. Deep down when she was telling her story I knew that I had finally found what she was looking for: the confidence to meet new men and get on with her life.

That was her real motivation behind hiring me as a trainer.

Soon after I kept checking on her, giving her advice on the men she had around and making her laugh telling my past failures with women. She slowly started dating again and I made sure that at every session I was filming her to make her feel sexy and strong.

Back on the right track

In almost no time she was back on healthy diet, training regime and less frustrated. I allowed her more drinks since she was actually having many dates and I made sure she burned them off in the gym.

how do i get motivated_2Today Mary is more focused at work, feels more attractive and confident and finally found in health and fitness a way to improve every aspect of her life. We are still working together and enjoy occasional jokes about romance and sex between sets.

Think your motivation through

Unless you are preparing a fitness show or you are a little fitness celebrity is very unlikely that losing five pounds would be a strong enough motive for you.

If you want to achieve incredible results in the gym is crucial that you firstly find what is the deepest reason behind your desire for a body transformation.

When I was 17 my reason was to feel confident with girls and possibly get laid. At 22 I wanted to be a professional bodybuilder. At 24 I just wanted to be ripped for my Go Go dancer and fitness modelling jobs.

Today I want to be a role model for my client and look amazing to market my business.

You can clearly see the shift I have been through. But since this is just me and every single person has different motives I have developed a simple exercise to determine your own motivations behind your desire for a better body.

Tapping into your motivation

Using the Dr. Demartini Value assessment questionnaire I simply created a short and easier version that can be easily understood and applied (for more info you can google Dr. John Demartini).

Now we’ve seen an example of someone else finding their motivation, you may be thinking, how do I get motivated? Not found your true motivation yet?

Tomorrow, in Part 2 of the article Davide has provided an exercise, for your consideration, to find out what your true motivation is. Once you’ve found it, who’s to say you wont go on to make the progress Mary has?

Connect with Expert Davide Alfonsi

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