For richer or poorer, in sickness and health, for fatter or thinner….!

It’s very common for one or both partners to start putting on weight once they are in a settled relationship, and this happens for a number of reasons;  possibly, because you are feeling happy and settled and there’s no longer a feeling of panic about whether you’re ever going to find a partner.  You don’t need to be looking your best all the time just in case you happen to meet Mr or Mrs X on a late night visit to the super market!  You are not missing meals, because you are crying into a bottle of wine at the latest relationship disaster. You can enjoy shopping, cooking and eating together, and if you cook a recipe for 4 people, but then end up eating it all between the two of you – who cares?!

The trouble is what happens when one of you starts to become unhappy with the other’s weight?  How can do you encourage your partner to lose weight without upsetting them?!

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These are the 7 weight loss tips your partner really does not want to hear from you and some ‘helpful’ suggestions for what to do instead…

1. ‘You need to put more effort into it’

So unhelpful!  Your partner might not know where to start in the difficult weight loss battle, so telling them to make a greater effort is going to get them nowhere!

This is much better:  ‘I can see you are making a huge effort darling.  How can I help you?!’

2. ‘You shouldn’t have any more beer/wine – your ‘belly’ is already enormous’

Ouch – cutting, particularly if you say this in public! They might be so upset that they carry on drinking to drown their sorrows….

Try this instead:  ‘Shall we finish our drinks and then head home and have an early night (winking at them suggestively!) You can guarantee that your partner will be very keen to get home!

3. Why don’t you just stop eating for 4 weeks?  You’ve got enough reserves….’

Another of those very unhelpful tips which will just upset them.  This is much more helpful and supportive:

‘Shall we sit down together and plan our healthy menus for the next few weeks?’

4. Are you off to your baby gym again?

A derogatory and unpleasant comment which will just demotivate them.

Try this instead: ‘It’s fantastic that you are off to the gym again and I can see how hard you’ve been working out.  Wow!  Can I come with you?” 

A much nicer comment which is guaranteed to have them working out at their maximum in order to keep impressing you!

weight loss tips for couples - 7 things not to say to your partner

5. I’ve made you a salad and I’m going to have steak and chips’

Nothing is more difficult then munching away on a salad while the person in front of you is relishing a large plate of fried food.  It’s a subtle form of torture…..

How about ‘I thought I’d make us both a lovely salad.  What kind of salad would you like?

Much cleverer – in sales speak you are ‘selling’ them  the idea of a salad and getting them to ‘buy’ into the idea by asking them to chose the type of salad they would like.

6. I’m going to forbid you to eat chocolate/crisps etc

Err –  your partner is an adult, not a child and you can not forbid them to eat anything!  The idea is to encourage them to make the right food choices by themselves.

This is better:  ‘I thought we would go and buy some healthy snacks.  What do  you think we should buy?’

7. X has lost a lot of weight and is now looking incredibly sexy’ (cue pointed look at your partner)

Another of those ‘ouch’ comments because what is implied at the end of the sentence is ‘unlike you!‘  Nasty indeed!

Try this instead ‘X said how well you were looking.  You are looking fantastic.  I know you’ve really been trying to eat healthily and exercise.  I’m so proud of you!’.

So much nicer and this ‘gold star‘ approach will help motivate them to stay on track.

The golden rule as my grandmother used to say is this:   ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it!’

The bottom line weight loss tip for couples is that it is so very important to let our partners know how very much we love them exactly they way they are.  The reason we are trying to help them with weight loss is because we want them to stay healthy, fit and by our sides for as long as possible.  We are doing this because we love them, not because we want to hurt them. There are gentle and kind ways to guide your partner towards successful weight control and and we should never make harsh comments. Our weight loss advice should aim to encourage and inspire them.  If our tips are too harsh or unhelpful we will simply end up sending them rushing off towards sugar, snacks and alcohol to console themselves….! A final tip – rather than making comments, why not look into creative ways to diet together!

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Pollyanna Hale Health and Lifestyle coaches
Lost 13 Kg in Total
Mel, 32y Location: London, United Kingdom Working with Pollyanna changed everything. I lost 13kg, got toned and have more energy than ever! Get same results!

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